After Persephone disappeared into the Underworld with Hades, Demeter was inconsolable. She knew the Underworld, she knew Hades, and she knew what was in store for her daughter in the Dark King’s realm.
There were those that said Persephone went willingly, that she loved him. Demeter was not convinced. Whether Persephone went willingly, was deceived or coerced, or kidnapped didn’t really matter to her. Demeter wasn’t concerned so much with the How of it as she was with the consequences. As the Goddess of The Harvest and Fertility, and by turns of health, marriage, and birth, the landscape dimmed into greys and withered lifeless browns in response to her grief. Everything shut down.
On the ninth day of Demeter's despair, Baubo, an old woman that served nearby, approached Demeter and told her jokes to try to lift her spirits. The first jokes dropped with a heavy silent thud to the ground. Demeter was not moved. Baubo began to get baudier, the jokes becoming increasingly off-color. Eventually, she told the baudiest joke she could summon and punctuated it by lifting her skirts and exposing her bare vulva to Demeter. Demeter burst into laughter. A deep belly laugh that shook her frame and ignited the spark of life again in the landscape.
The laughter was a medicine that cleared her head, heart, ears and eyes and gave her the strength and resolve to start the work needed to bring Persephone back to the surface.
This week, the landscape has dimmed for so many of us. The specter of life under the rule of a dark king has drained our view of the future of its life-giving colors. The landscape seems to be reflecting our moods as it becomes colder and wetter and the last of the leaves sink to the earth below the tree’s branches. Life has retreated underground and cold and damp is all that remains. (In the desert southwest, we see this myth play out when the burning rage of the sun sends everything underground in the summertime.) Emotions are all over the place. Shock. A sense of betrayal. Disbelief. Anger. Searching for who or what to blame. Judgement--so much judgement. Despair. Wanting to give up. Hopelessness. Wanting to escape. We find ourselves crying, screaming into pillows, and googling digital nomad visa requirements in turn.
Let it all out my lovelies. Scream, cry, yell, make an escape plan, and start it all over again. But don’t make any decisions just yet. Let the emotions flow up and out. Breathe space around them and be a witness to them each in turn. Rinse and repeat as often as necessary. You won’t be done in a day. But don’t make any decisions until the wave has fully expressed and passed. Just give your emotions their space. Provide them with loving witness, then let them pass through. Now is not yet the time for decisions or actions. Now is the time to be a witness to ourselves and those we love. Now is the time to connect with ourselves and those we love--whether human, animal, plant, element or Powers. Let the emotions move up and out so that when the time for decisions and actions come, you move with a clear heart and head, clear eyes and ears. Keep your hearts soft. That is how they stay strong.
The number nine is a holy number in many traditions. It represents the end of a cycle. It is the fullness of what has been accumulating to the point where the cycle swings round and a new cycle begins.
Baubo coming to Demeter after nine days indicates that she, in her haggish wisdom, waited for Demeter to experience a full wave of grief before approaching her to nudge her forward with laughter and the healing powers of the Doorway to Life that women are the gatekeepers of.
The number nine represents the end of a cycle. It holds the fullness of that cycle-- so full that it overflows and starts a new cycle. Trust in this natural order. We live in a time when autocratic and fascistic impulses seem to be gaining power all over the world. When looking for a place to escape, there seems to be no place to run to-- it's either in the house or at the doorstep everywhere we look. We are coming to the end of an era. The bombastic, ego-driven, isolationist, hyper-individualistic, power-over age of the Hero and his empire are coming to a close. In nature, the leaves are their brightest colors right before they fall off the branch. The sunset the most dazzling after the sun has dropped below the horizon. And so it is with the Hero Age. The age of The Great Man. The fact that it is pushing to prominence in so many places is the evidence of its death throes. As is the desperation of those that cling to it.
The pyramid is collapsing into a web. An age of collaboration, community, and connection that honors balance and diversity is extending its roots more broadly beneath the surface. We have seen sprouts emerge. Even some blooms. Change is scary to all humans. So there are those that feel this greater change coming and they are terrified. They cling to the way things have been. They don’t see how they’ll fit in the new way of being. They don’t know where they belong on the web. Even if they were at the bottom of the pyramid, they knew what “good” movement was-- up. It didn’t really matter that they weren’t moving there, they could see it. They understood it. They knew what to aspire to.
But those value judgements don’t really work on the web, so it can be really disorienting. The Hero Mythology keeps those that ascribe to it trapped in a place where the avenues to healing are cut off because within the realm of The Hero, the vulnerability required for connection and healing is seen as weakness and leads to certain violation and possibly death. They’re trapped, and it takes quite a lot of courage and to get out. If often results in a loss of community. Its scary.
Know that the good seeds that have been planted are in fertile ground. Trust in the fecundity of the Earth to hold those seeds safe and nurture them to fruition. Continue to feed and water those seeds, knowing that they’ll sprout again when conditions are aligned. Know that even if sprouts are mown down, the roots spread far and wide under the surface, safe and strong in the nutrient-rich velvety darkness. Know this.
I was in a keening class with Phyllida Anam Aire Tuesday morning and she said something that struck my heart and brought tears to my eyes that I think I need to write on all my mirrors so that I don’t forget:
“We are all here now to help each other heal” So cry. Scream into a pillow. Let all the emotions have their turn on your inner stage and witness them fully. And when Baubo comes knocking, answer.
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